Be the Best You that You Can Be

The day I graduated from High School I walked away from the auditorium with a huge sense of accomplishment.  Not so much because I had a diploma in hand with academic honors, but that I had survived High School being me. Probably one of the greatest struggles of my life in terms of staying true to who I am took place in Middle School and High School.  It was worth fighting the battle back then because I think it may have helped me to gain some stronger "sense of self" muscles, if you will, that have sustained me during other times when the pressure was on to become either more than I am, or less than I am, or something other than I am.

A friend introduced me to a poem by e.e. cummings (1894-1962)  that has stuck with me over time:

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, day and night, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting."

I think in our culture we focus a lot of attention on being the best basketball player, or the best pianist, or the best designer with all of the attention being on the mastery of technical skills alone.  The status of "the best" at something will be achieved by a very select few, making it nearly an unattainable goal. There can be only one "the best" at something.

But the thing we can each be the best at is being who we are.   You alone hold the power to be the best you you can be.  No one else can do that for you.  The world needs you to be richly and authentically you if you want to leave a meaningful legacy.  And you need you to be richly and authentically you if you desire joy, purpose and meaning.

Be you today.  And be the best at it you can possibly be!

Hope, Dream, Love, Believe. Anyway.

I'm always amazed at all of the places that truth shows up.  One of the contestants on American Idol sang  this song by Martina McBride last night:

"Anyways"

You can spend your whole life buildin'

Something from nothin'

One storm can come and blow it all away

Build it anyway

You can chase a dream

That seems so out of reach

And you know it might not ever come your way

Dream it anyway

God is great, but sometimes life ain't good

When I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it should

But I do it anyway

I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy and its hard to believe

That tomorrow will be better than today

Believe it anyway

...

You can pour your soul out singing

A song you believe in

That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang

Sing it anyway

Yeah, sing it anyway

I sing, I dream, I love

Anyway

This song speaks to a commitment that I have made to myself to choose hope, as best as I can.  I choose hope because I would rather live my life hopeful than not. Why not, as the song suggests, believe for the most, live for the most, seize the most, love the most, hope for the most.  Isn't that a much better way to live than the alternative?

I've lived long enough to know that life gets marked by seasons. During those seasons, God is working to develop us, grow us and prepare us for what's ahead,  in ways that we can't often see until we're well past that season of our lives. I would say that we are in one of those seasons right now:  we're right where we're supposed to be, but its not entirely clear what is ahead or specifically what God is doing in our lives.  So, while its difficult for me to always see what this season is about, I do know that one day I'll be able to look back on this season and say, "Oh, so THAT's what was going on and THAT's what God was doing!" What I don't want to do, upon looking back, is this:  "Oh, so THAT's what God was up to!  Well, if I had only known that, I would have been more hopeful all along!"  No, I want to live each day filled with maximum hope  simply because of who God is and how God works in our lives.    So, even though I don't see it all right now, I choose hope.... Anyway.

May we all, no matter what season of life we are in, choose to live life fully.  Hoping, Dreaming, Loving, Believing.... Anyway.

My Town Waking Up

One of the things that makes me not mind the shorter days of fall and winter is to, before the sun has fully come up, drive by homes, businesses and places where people are beginning their day.  I love to see the lights on inside of buildings, and sometimes catch a glimpse of the activity within.  I know, it sounds kinda strange!  But I can't help it... there's just such a good feeling that comes from the scene that is created.  There is something really beautiful to me about the sense I get of those inside who are up, anticipating all that a new day brings, ready to go, willing to work hard and do the things they do each day to find purpose and meaning.  I especially enjoy the scene created by the lights from within glowing in places where people are gathering for conversation and community.

Normal Rockwell

I'm sure I have been influenced by this Norman Rockwell painting, which has been one of my favorites since I was a kid.  I always thought it looked so interesting to be those people inside.  I always wondered what they talked about, what their lives were like.  The picture would always get me dreaming about the story being lived out on the painted canvas.

 This morning, I happened to have my camera with me and caught a few places that I thought looked especially inviting in the light of dawn in my own town.

A well known coffee shop downtown, where people were having coffee together

City Hall.  I wonder what decisions will be made today.

Inside the owner is preparing tasteful yet simple breakfasts for those who will come..  

A place where people with disabilities gather for community and meaning

A quiet entrance to the science building on the campus where I work

Lights are on in the Ad Building on campus as  folks inside get ready for the day.

"So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work.  Then I realized that this pleasure is from the hand of God."  (Ecclesiastes 2:24)

Today may we each enjoy the little things that make life satisfying.

Life is Good

I've always liked this saying

No matter what, life is good.  Good because we know that all things work together for good.  Good because we have a God who takes the brokenness, pain and hurt of our lives and turns it into something beautiful in time.  Good because we can choose, and we can choose  to be happy.  Life is good because there's always second chances... and third and fourth and fiftieth.... Life is good.

Life is good because there is beauty everywhere if we choose to see it.  Good because we are loved.  Even if no one on earth loves us, which is highly unlikely, we have a Creator whose love for us knows no limits.  Life is good because until we take our last breath, we can learn.  And because we can learn there really are no failures, only successes as we learn from our mistakes.

Life is good.  Whether laughter, tears, joy, or sorrow.. life is good.

Resistance, Part 2

For quite a long time I have believed that women can use their gifts of leadership and teaching in whatever capacity God calls them to in the church.  I realize we don't all see eye to eye on that and I respect the position of others who feel differently as long as it comes from an honest examination of Scriptures. However, when I was invited to step into the lead pastor role at the church we belonged to, I recall how immediate the  resistance was that came rushing to the surface of my mind from way down deep inside of me somewhere.  It sounded like this: "Can God do that? Call me, a woman, to lead a church?  Is that really allowed?  I can't possibly say 'yes'...what will people think of me?"

That's called a crisis of belief!  What I had said I believed was suddenly being challenged by the resistance from within that came, in part, to ways that I had been conditioned by my upbringing, previous experiences and the messages that I had internalized more than I realized that said, "Women can't do that."

Sometimes the resistance we feel is a clue that there is more work to be done in terms of owning our beliefs, convictions, and sense of call. More work to be done recognizing the subtle and not so subtle ways we've been conditioned to think that then influence our decisions in life more than we realize.  I believe this matters if we are to live out, the best we can, who God has made us to be and what God has for us to do.

The resistance I have had to work through won't look like the resistance you face.  But my hope is that we can be a people who recognize the resistance, name it for what it is, face it and overcome it that we may live lives that are true to who God made us to be.

Resistance

     “Imagine wanting to be a gardener or a carpenter in a family that is disdainful of making a living by manual labor…Imagine you’re a woman who feels called to be a minster in a religious community that doesn’t believe God calls women to be ministers.  Naturally, people are going to treat you like you’re blowing your nose on their prayer flags, and spitting in their holy water. Naturally, you’re going to think twice about following that call.”  (Gregg Levoy,  "Callings").  

I     I appreciate this quote because not only does it ring true in some ways to my own experience of saying 'yes' to the call to be the lead pastor of a church for a season, but because it reminds me of how there will always be resistence to stepping outside of the norm, the expected, what others think we should do, what we ourselves have been conditioned to think about ourselves and our calls.

    The resistance, which can either come from within or without, sounds like this:

      I'm not smart enough, rich enough or good enough

      I'm too tall, too fat, too skinny, not pretty enough or handsome enough

      I'm too old or too young

      It (whatever the call might be) is too hard

      I'm not "allowed" to do that  (that might be true, but often its not)

      If only I had more money, more resources, better connections

      My friends and family won't understand

      The risks are too great

    And on the list goes of all of the ways we believe we're inadequate, not enough or the cost too high.

    Yet, the resistance can be the clue that we're on to something important, something that we are meant to do, a call that is uniquely ours to follow.

     I can't think of too many examples of people who stepped out to do significant things in the world that didn't experience a great deal of resistance.  We just don't tend to think about that part of it.  And of course, we want the big calling without the big price tag. But it doesn't work that way in real life.

     I write this to remind myself to not take the easy route, to settle for the lesser calls, but to pay attention to the resistance and remain open to whatever it might be that God would ask me to do.

    

Thoughts On a Tragedy

This past week a colleague on the campus I teach at was brutally attacked and murdered at his own home.  His wife was seriously injured in the attack as well.  My colleague leaves 3 children, 2 that are still in High School.

Not only has the campus been shaken to the core over this, but the entire community.  These things don't happen where I live. The night we first learned of this tragedy, my daughter wanted to sleep on the floor in our room.  I get that.  Of course you can sleep on our floor.  I want us all to be together, too.

My colleague was killed early Sunday morning.  Monday was an extremely difficult day on campus.  It's as though we all were numb.  It was noticeably quieter on campus.  Less laughter.  Students and faculty spoke to one another in hushed tones.  People walked with eyes to the ground.  Occasionally I would see spontaneous hugs as tears would suddenly begin to flow once again.  At 10 we had a campus wide gathering in the chapel to pray and come together in our confusion and bewilderment.  We remembered God's love, his goodness and faithfulness even in these times.  Especially in these times.  There was time given for sharing memories about our colleague and professor which included not only tears, but laughter as stories were recounted of his funny and quirky ways.  Clearly this man... father, teacher, friend, son, brother, colleague....was well loved. Because he loved well.

Tragedies like this have a way of eliciting deeper reflection, of giving us a window to see truth in a way that we don't usually see in the normal course of life.  Times like this cause one to see the things that are most important in life... like loving each other, valuing each other, sacrificing for each other, putting other's interests above my own, because its those around us that make life truly meaningful. And we just never know how much time we will have.  I see more clearly how less important "my rights" are, how "my interests" aren't as big of a deal as I tend to think.  This event has caused me to want to hug more freely, encourage others profusely, tell those around me more frequently how much I love them, bless others with kindness, and so much more. I know others are also sensing similar things. So while I am deeply grieved by what has happened this week and the unspeakable pain and suffering this has caused, I am amazed at the ways that I have seen Love springing up.

Karl Shelly an adjunct professor on campus said this: “Two things I know to be true: this world is filled with remarkable beauty and love. And this world is filled with unspeakable violence and pain. We live in between both; with glimpses of heaven and of hell; of darkness and of light. As one who seeks to transform conflict and violence, I will live by the proposition, and walk in the hope, that violence and pain never have the final word ...”