Rise Above Average

BE YOUR TRUE, UNIQUE AND BEAUTIFUL SELF, NOT WHAT OTHERS THINK YOU SHOULD BE

KEEP YOUR PROMISES

ALWAYS  BE HONEST

DARE TO FOLLOW THE DREAMS IN YOUR OWN HEART

DO SOMETHING EVERY DAY IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR DREAMS

CARE MORE ABOUT OTHERS

BE GENEROUS

GET OVER YOUR FEARS

STOP WAITING TO BE PICKED

PICK YOURSELF

BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN DO GREAT THINGS

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD


GO THE EXTRA MILE, TAKE THE HIGH ROAD

The Pits

In high school, if something didn't work out or wasn't like we thought it should be, we would say, "That's the pits."  Does anyone say that anymore?  If not,  here's to bringing that saying back because life can be the pits. And here's to talking about the pits because our American culture sets us up to expect happiness and success.  So when things seem to be falling apart we have no idea what to do or where to turn. And worse, we feel like something is wrong with us as we look around  and see everyone else who seems to have it all together.

Hey, you're saying, I thought this was supposed to be a place with encouraging and inspiring thoughts. Right.

Life itself has its pits, as we all know.  It's those times when life doesn't  go like we anticipated, or thought  it would.  We feel lost, confused, let down, disoriented, maybe even hopeless. Uncomfortable.  That's a good way to describe how I feel during these times. Sometimes the pits last a few days, and at other times these seasons can go on and on for what seems like forever.  Or, maybe we went through the pits of life a few years back and thought we were "Done!"  only to find ourselves back in another pit years later.

Richard Rohr, OFM,  says this: "Don't be too afraid of being thrown into the pit."  My dad says it like this:  "What goes up must come down."  The Biblical pattern is clear.  There is no going up until you go down.  Joseph had to go down into the pit twice before he came into his destiny.  The examples of this pattern in scripture are numerous,  ending of course in the example of Jesus's death and resurrection.

If it's true that times of defeat, humiliation, failure, brokenness are part of life, then why do we try so hard to avoid them?  I suppose we each have to answer that for ourselves as the reasons come from our own dark side.  But what if we learned to not run from, fear, dread, or avoid the pits of life but learn to embrace them as they come our way?  Where we even learn to say, "This stinks, but through it I have the opportunity to become a better person  if I choose to."

The pits of life can be good for us.   It's during those times that God, if we allow it, meets us in profound ways. Not only do we learn things about God that we wouldn't otherwise see, but we learn things about ourselves. Corrie ten Boom and Victor Frankl are great examples to me of people who survived the Holocaust concentration camps and came out better people for their suffering.

Here are some things I've tried to live out during the pits of life, as a way of embracing these seasons:

• Be honest about where you are and how you feel.  
• Stop pretending that everything is alright.
• Stop lying to yourself that you should have it all together by now
• Stop comparing your journey to that of those around you.  Your journey is your journey.  Your journey is not their journey.
• Find a good friend to walk with you through this season, not one who has to fix you, but one who can ask thoughtful questions or just simply walk alongside.
• Bring all of the mixed up, confused, hurt, let down and whatever else feelings to God
• Ask for insight to see things within that can't be known during the happy and good times of life.  Believe me, the dark times have a way of exposing junk in us.
• Surrender to allowing your heart and inner self to be worked on
• And finally, hang on like crazy to the One who can begin to make sense out of the pits of life, even turning it into something good and beautiful in time.

Maybe you find yourself in a pit now and it seems there is no way out.  Know that one day you will be emancipated.  You will be free again.  And you will have become a better person for your experience in the pit.  In the meantime, just keep holding on like crazy.

Live An Interesting Story

My daughter has been wanting to read a book that I'm not so sure is age appropriate.  So, I'm reading it to see what it's like rather than just saying "no" without really knowing.

I asked her why she wants to read this book, knowing the general themes of it.  She said, "Because it's interesting."  Reading between the lines of her comment, I hear her saying, "Because it captures my attention, my imagination, it draws me in and takes me to another place."  That's what a good story does, right?

Her comment made me think.  I said, "Maybe the story of our lives needs to be more interesting. Perhaps one reason why this book is so popular is because not enough of us are living out our own interesting stories."  She just looked at me as if to say, "Why can't you just let me read the book."

I do think about life as a story.  Would the story of your life, if it were written in book form,  be interesting enough for anyone to want to read? Would YOU want to read your story?  Would anyone want to read MY story?  What I'm not advocating for is living carelessly just for the sake of a great story.

Speaking of Great Stories....

A couple years ago, my daughter and I took a mother-daughter adventure to Washington D.C. for spring break.  I'm terrible with directions. While traveling in a new place I tend to rely heavily on the GPS.  Late one afternoon, after having spent the day seeing the sites around the National Mall , my daughter and I  drove back to our hotel, which was in Maryland.  I could see on the GPS that my turn off was coming up fairly soon, so when the GPS lady told me to "Turn right",  I obeyed.  Immediately I found myself driving down a long, narrow lane through the deep, dark woods.  By design, there was nowhere to turn around, and  at this point I realized that I was not on the freeway I should  be on. Clearly, I had taken a right hand turn too soon.

Eventually, in the middle of the deep, dark woods, I came to a paved clearing.  Immediately my van was surrounded by men in black uniforms brandishing what looked to me like some really big weapons.  Where the heck did they come from, I wondered.  Suddenly I realized that not only did I make a wrong turn, but I must have made a significant and serious mistake by the looks of things.  Even my daughter had a man in black with a weapon standing guard on her side of the van.  I guess we  looked pretty scary with our flaming red hair.

Eventually, after much interrogation, I learned that we had inadvertently landed right in the center of certain  government headquarters.(I'm not gonna tell you which... I don't want to get in trouble!  And, just for the record I couldn't find that place again if I tried.)  Who knew.  Apparently, I had unknowingly trespassed on highly restricted federal property.  Uh-oh.  This isn't  good, I thought.  I tried to make light of the situation and crack a few nervous jokes with the men in black brandishing big weapons, but they didn't think any of it was funny at all.

Finally, we were let go.  With knees knocking and heart  still pounding I started my van back up and drove, escorted of course, out of the property.  Never have I been so happy to be free.

Back to What I Was Saying

 Great stories keep us on our toes, keep us wanting to turn the page to see what's going to happen next.  And, great stories often have similar themes: . of being in a near death situation, of being rescued, of risk, of redemption, of unconditional love and acceptance, of hope, of overcoming forces of evil and triumph.

 G. K. Chesterton said, "Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten."  There are reasons why we are drawn to great stories.  We find truth in them.   And we long for those truths to be our truths.

You Can Live an Interesting Story


I want to live an interesting story, and I bet you do too.  So how do we do that?  In part, if we are living out the dreams and passions in our hearts the best we can and bringing who we are to bear on the world around us, I believe  that our stories will ring true to the truths that we often read about in great stories. We can live out a great story.  I think that each of us need to figure out how to live a good story.  I know  for myself that as my story has intersected with God's story (God has a story going since the beginning of time replete with all of the themes we love in a great story), that's what has made my story have meaning and purpose and hopefully a story worth telling.  Without that, I'm pretty sure my story would be so boring no one would ever care to hear it.  It would be a story where the main character doesn't get rescued, never knows unconditional love, gets swallowed up by the evil in the world and dies a hopeless and helpless lonely old woman.

So go live today, and as you do may it be a page worth reading in the interesting story of your life.

One Life

What if all you had was $100 to feed a family of four for two weeks?  You could choose to spend that money however you wanted, but it's all you have for for food for the entire two weeks.

You could choose to go out to eat at a nice restaurant with that amount of money,  thinking you deserve it.  Yes, a break from cooking and cleaning up sounds really good. The kids would love you when you say, "Hey, get whatever you want on the menu!  There are no limits today!"   Chances are, you wouldn't have much left for the remainder of the 2 weeks. In the end, the wanton spending would leave you and your family impoverished and hungry.

Or you could carefully take stock of the resources you have, and  plan out how to make the most of the $100 over the 2 week period of time.  Your family would be thankful and happy with this choice, no doubt, as  there is enough to go around and no one goes hungry.  You would have creatively and  intentionally made the most of what you had.

Sometimes I think we approach life as though we have unlimited days.  It's easy to choose to spend our days how we want to, even wasting time if we choose to.  And when it comes to choices on how to spend our time, we have the luxury of choosing good over best because we can get to the best at some other time in life when we feel like it. Or, we might not even realize what is the best because we've been numbed by the illusion that we have an abundance of days and time.

As part of my job, I supervise students in an oncology clinical setting.  Oncology is where people with cancer are treated.  Occasionally, one of the patient's will open up about what he or she has learned from having cancer.  More often than not, the learnings and new perspective on life have to do with seeing in a new way the value of each day.  How each day is such a gift.  And with each day, learning to make the most of the things that are truly important in life.  With the diagnosis of cancer, each day, each moment, has become extraordinarily precious in part because time is now viewed in the context of a limited number of days. Most people, in that situation, choose to spend each day embracing what they view as most valuable and important.

I don't think we have to be struck with a terminal disease in order to learn to appreciate fully each day.  I do think a careful analysis of our life is required, taking time to evaluate what is important to us, and committing to pursuing those things wholeheartedly and intentionally.  I try, most days, to start the day with gratitude for a new day and a recognition that I need help from above in living this I've been given to the fullest.

Paul says it like this:  "Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that.  Don't be impressed with yourself.  Don't compare yourself with others.  Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life." (Galatians 6)

That's a lot of good wisdom and advice to live by. We've been given one life to live.  Let's make the most of each day, doing the creative best we can.  And may we each be blessed with an ability to see what truly matters.

And the Future Starts Now

Never, in my whole entire life, have I worn a new dress on Easter.  Today I am.  I didn't buy it for Easter, but today is the first time to wear it. I'm wearing it as a symbol of being wrapped in the newness, freshness, and "all things new-ness" (I made that  phrase up) of this day.

I love Easter!  Easter speaks of new beginnings.

Joelle created these colored eggs

New life

Second chances

Of being rescued

Restoration of that which was dead, lost, broken

Hope

Growing up, I was always taught that Easter is a celebration of Jesus dying for our sins and then coming back to life again so that we could live forever.  While that's all true, I've come to see that there is so much more.  I think the Message version of 1 Peter 1 verse 3 says it well:

Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we've been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven.-- AND THE FUTURE STARTS NOW! (emphasis added)

Every day, every moment, is the promise of a fresh start, of a new beginning, of our lives becoming all we were meant to be... Here. Now.  Not just in some distant future.  Easter is the promise of "all things new". And its in Jesus that we find the fulfillment of that hope.

May we each reach out today for the New Life that is offered to us each day, each moment, from now to eternity.

Are you doing anything in particular to symbolize the meaning of this day?  I would love to hear about it!

Birdseye View of Life

The other day I wrote,  "God has a good plan for your life.  And because of who God is, its probably bigger and more amazing than you can even comprehend". Most of us could probably look at our lives and wonder if those words really ring true.

But here's the truth:  we look at our lives in the here and now and make conclusions based on a very  short term perspective. The short sightedness causes us to miss the greatness.  We need a birdseye view of life.  A bigger perspective.

The fact that I am here, on this earth, have an education, a good marriage, three wonderful kids, a home to live in, I haven't committed suicide, I'm not an alcoholic (I think I easily could be), I have resources to live off of and to help others with, I have hope, I am forgiven, I can forgive, faith is alive and well in my soul, friends care about me, and the list could go on, it's quite amazing.  You could list many good things about your life too. And I see that if there's anything good about our lives, its because of how God has been working not only in our present life, but through past generations.  Your life is bigger than your time on earth.

Without going into all of the nitty gritty details,  there are aspects of my family history that are less than beautiful.  On my mother's side there has been a history of suicide and alcohol abuse. She had many odds against her but through tough choices and with God's help my mom has been an over comer.  Of course, her choices have influenced my life tremendously.  It's a wonder I'm even here at all because my dad had several close calls with death before he married my mom.  After he got married, he got in touch with his desperate need for God and surrendered his life to something greater than the thrill of the here and now.  That set my life on a different path.

God works through the generations to restore beauty where its been stolen,  joy where there's been pain,  laughter where there's been sorrow,  love where there's been hatred, freedom where there's been shame and guilt, and on it goes.  We, in the here and now, are the product of the blessings and the curses.  To the degree that there are any blessings at all in any of our lives speaks of God's big and amazing plans. 

Goals

I've been thinking lately that it's time to establish more goals for my life.  I could perhaps have another 40-50 years  to live life (by the year 2050, it's projected that there will be at least a million people over the age of 100).  Right now, I have about 10 very specific goals (or, dreams)  that I have identified that have not yet been fulfilled.  So if you do the math, that means I'm accomplishing 1 goal every 4 or 5 years.  Hmmm... I think I can do better than that.  In fact, I think I need to do better than that.  Having a sense of purpose and a vision for our lives is part of what leads to a fulfilling, alive, and God-honoring life.  So, I've been prayerfully thinking about all of this, writing down thoughts and refining some of the goals I have had to be very specific and measurable.  I'm also working on identifying goals that I haven't ever really clearly articulated before.

 With God, all things are possible (Jesus)

On top of that, I'm challenged to identify goals/ dreams that go beyond what I am capable of accomplishing in my own strength and know-how.  Many of the goals I am working on are  big enough that if they happen it will only be because of God.

Bill Gates has said, "People overestimate what they can accomplish in one year and underestimate what they can accomplish in 10 years."  It seems that most of us have busy schedules and its easy to get caught in the trap of not taking the time to think beyond what happens this day.  Writing  goals down and keeping them visible can serve as a daily reminder to us of what is important.  So, when 10 years goes we can look back and celebrate the accomplishments of that decade.

Currently, these are the goal categories:

• Family
• Influence
• Service
• Gifts, talents and skills

I'm also aware that what we do comes out of who we are.  So I'm doing the background work of asking myself what kind of person I want and need to be in order to achieve the things that I want to do in life.

And, finally and most importantly, anything worthwhile ultimately comes out of that place of knowing and walking with God.  Jesus said, 'Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15)

Chocolate, Coffee and Makeovers

I wonder what you think of when you read those words: chocolate, coffee and makeovers?  Maybe you thought, "Those are things that women enjoy!" or, "Those are things that bring women together."  My son, who was just looking over my shoulder at the title said, "That's all stuff girls like."  I wonder if he would have said that if he had seen words like justice, passion for God and others, risk and adventure, sacrifice and obedience.

If you didn't think "women's ministry", maybe you should have. Increasingly, I've been noticing that Christian women's ministries have really picked up on all of this. In church bulletins I see blurbs about women coming together around one or all of the above; chocolate, coffee and or makeovers.  A visit to a Christian bookstore will reveal whole packets of materials for planning and implementing a women's event that comes replete with a plan for chocolate, coffee and or makeovers.

I'm not opposed to any of these activities (eating chocolate, drinking coffee, getting a makeover), but I am opposed to the lack of balance I see.  There's so much more to being a Christian woman and so much more that can bring us together. Where are the events, then, that empower women to live significant lives, change the world, pursue big hairy audacious dreams for God?  There's a time and a place for chocolate, coffee and makeovers; it just can't be all there is to women's ministries.  We were made for more and we can be more than that.

Gals, I love chocolate and coffee (not so much makeovers even though I could probably use one!) just like the rest of you, so please hear my heart.  What I'm saying is that I think we can be known for more than that.  Let's be known for pursuing God sized dreams and visions, for being willing to take risks and step out in obedience and to see things happen that are bigger than ourselves. I know many of you are already trying to live this way and I would love to hear more about that.  I think we need to hear each other's stories and in so doing encourage each other to keep pursuing more and all that God has for each of us.

Dream On, Mama!

I am one who does better when I have a clear dream that I'm working towards.  I wilt when I lose sight of something more. I think that's true of all of us, though.  It's easy to get caught up in the routines of life, the tasks at hand, all of the things that demand our time and attention in the here and now, and simply lose touch of the dreams we carry  on our hearts. It takes a pretty high level of intentionality to stay in touch with those dreams and even more deliberate work to keep moving towards them.  There is probably no greater and more important work that I can do daily but to stay in touch with the dreams and visions that God has placed in my heart, carefully listening for next steps, and acting on what I know to do.

My daughter, who was 9 at the time, told me once to "Dream On, Mama!"  She meant it not in a cynical way, but in the purest sense. She's wired a bit like me; she has big ideas and big dreams for her life.  This struck me as encouraging because not only did it affirm my sense of dreaming and believing for more, but it reminded me of how much those around us need us to keep dreaming.  I think our culture has a way of neutering our dreams.  If we're not careful, we can unconsciously begin to opt for status quo and we can easily trade in our God-Given Dreams for the American Dream. Our families, friends, communities and the world need me, and you,  to be fully alive in our dreams and visions. Not only do we make a difference in the lives of others as we pursue our God given dreams, hopefully we are reflecting a piece of God's heart to the world around us.

Today, may our souls awaken to not only the God given dreams on our hearts, but to the things that we haven't yet dreamed of.

Resisting Entropy, part 2

Yesterday's post was about the importance of intentionality in parenting.  The  principle that I referred to- that most things, if left to their own, will move towards disorder and chaos and away from beauty and order-  applies to just about anything in life that truly matters. You name it:  marriage, friendship, business, creativity, physical fitness, spiritual life, etc.  I can't think of a single thing that has any significance at all that can grow towards its full potential without a whole lot of nurturing, care, and intentionality.

I've been re-evaluating all of the parts of my life that are important to me.  What am I doing to care for, nurture and help grow those areas so that the full potential is realized? Part of the evaluation process for me is to also look at areas that I SAY are important, and yet I am not really doing much if at all to truly nurture those areas.  I'm only being dishonest with myself if I say that my marriage matters and yet I don't put forth the effort it takes to grow it, nurture and care for it. What I say and do need to be in alignment with one another, otherwise there is dissonance and incongruity.

Here are some of the things that matters most to me (not necessarily in order):
Relationship with God through Jesus Christ
My marriage to Charles
My kids and family
Fulfilling my call,  living out my destiny, and bringing my gifts to bear on the world around me.
Community, although that has been in a season of morphing and changing and I'm still figuring some things out
Creative pursuits like writing and design
More lately, pushing out new business ventures
Being exposed to the world through travel and reading
Physical fitness

Because I do have a high value on intentionality, it is an empowering process to evaluate what I say is important and take an honest look at whether my words and actions line up.

Navigating Change

I think that by nature, humans tend towards that which is familiar whether we fully realize it or not.  That's not all bad, except when it comes to making necessary or significant life changes.  The familiar can be the very thing that holds us back if we allow it to.

I think a lot about this because I'm always interested in change dynamics, but also because we ourselves have been in a season of change and transition.

One of my favorite passages in scripture comes from Genesis 13:17.  The story is that of the Isrealites leaving Egypt, their long term place of captivity and oppression, in destination for a better life and place that God had for them so that his purposes could be more fully lived out in and through them.

"It so happened that after Pharaoh released the people, God didn't lead them by the road through the land of the Philistines, which was the shortest route, for God thought, "If the people encounter war, they'll change their minds and go back to Egypt."

So here they are:  the Isrealites have just been freed from Egypt, the very thing they've longed for and desired  and yet God sees that even though this is the very thing they've cried out for for years, their natural tendency, especially faced with difficulty,  would be to turn right back to where they began even though that's not what they really would want.  God intervenes and leads them on a path, while not the shortest and most direct, but a path that would enable them to walk into the promises that God had set before them. God enabled and empowered them to come into their destiny.

This encourages me.  As much as I might like to think I'm not bound to the familiar, I do believe there is an aspect of human nature that gravitates towards familiarity especially when trying to navigate through change. Change can be difficult.  Yet, when God calls us out and moves us out, we have to be able to become free from that which we've  known to move more fully into our destiny.  Fortunately, we serve a God who is bigger than our human tendencies and if we listen and follow, he will lead us along the right path- maybe not the shortest- that will eventually bring us into all that He has for us.